Reviews

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  ★★★½ review by MaryAnn on Letterboxd

  How to make you hate every young British actor you've ever liked: A film by Lone Scherfig

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  ★★★½ review by cathy on Letterboxd

  inspired by kate's (adrianbalboa) amazing review of The Stanford Prison Experiment, I thought I'd rank all the white boys in this movie:

  Sam Claflin: 6/10
  
  I liked finnick but sam claflin plays smug a little too well. suspicious 

  Max Irons: 5/10
  
  wastes his famous genes by being one of the most generic actors I've ever seen!! I couldn't pick him out of the crowd most of the time!!! also he was the main character

  Olly Alexander: 8/10
  
  SO cute and extra points for the activism

  Matthew Beard: 7/10
  
  ok I couldn't remember who this one was but a quick Google revealed that he was the boring kid in an education love it

  
  
  Douglas Booth: 4/10
  
  he's very pretty and i hope one day he is in a movie that is better than a 3/10

  Sam Reid: 0/10 
  
  ok I REALLY couldn't figure out who this one was Google was no help

  Ben Schnetzer: 3/10
  
  points off for looking like Max Minghella and making me wish I was watching the social network 

  Freddie Fox: 4/10
  
  how many are left how did Kate do this 

  I'm skipping to Tom Hollander, who wasn't one of boys so maybe he doesn't count but he gets +10 for being one of my favorite character actors and another 2 for all the times I think people are talking about him when they mean Tom Holland

  this movie was like men are trash: British edition

  
  
  
  

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  ★★★★ review by Matt Thomas on Letterboxd

  This succeeds when it starts to make you feel really uncomfortable - and then doesn't let go and keeps piling it on. Claflin and Brown Findlay stand out the most. Only the more violent turn towards the end takes you away from the sense of how close to reality this might be. All it needs is a pigs head and the title The Bullingdon Club...

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  ★★★★ review by Rootbean on Letterboxd

  Negativity?
  
  There seems to be a lot of undue negativity about this film, apparently because it’s about a bunch of toffee nosed posh cunts. Why? So what?

  It’s created a Sleeping Beauty type effect where a good film has been misinterpreted and taken as some sort of personal attack? I’m common as muck me, but I never felt threatened by these upper crust shenanigans, despite being a subordinate labourer, just as I never felt threatened by Sleeping Beauty or Sucker Punch even though I'm a man with a dick and a ball sack full of spunk. The Riot Club isn’t propaganda for feudalism, just as Sleeping Beauty isn’t an advert for sex work and Sucker Punch isn’t pro-rape. It's not personal. Gnome sane?

  The Blow Job
  
  The only major negative thing about the film is the ridiculous blow job scene, where pretty boy is supposedly being noshed off by a ginger tramp. The gigantic lunges and the lack of gagging and squelching noises aren’t even simulation enough to suggest your man has a cock like a long length of Spanish or your one has a bucket throat. The girl is only in the film for a few seconds and her job of giving a chap the eye and pretending to suck his cock was 50% blundered. *Wags finger in the air* “No bueno.”

  The Acts
  
  The first act is a comedy comparable to a Withnail-Libertine hybrid. Watching posh cunts act daft and get pissed is hilarious. And like rugby players, they always have to get their cock out and jizz on something. Biscuits, for example.

  The second act changes tone. Becoming cringeworthy and a little uncomfortable to view, in a way that effectively demonstrates the distinction between these upper class boys, and the posh middle class diners and workers around them. I didn’t enjoy this section of the film as much but I still laughed more than all the other folk in the cinema.

  The film ends abruptly. But after consideration I thought this was for the best. No film should ever be bulked up with filler, it’s tedious. It’s better to be left wanting more. The ending also didn’t go as I expected it to, so that’s another party bonus right there.

  Dessert
  
  Apparently posh people call their afters ‘pudding’ and middle class folk call it ‘dessert.’ I call it ‘afters’ and as a youth would ask my mum, “is there owt else?”
  
  To which she would reply, “No there bloody isn’t. You’ve had sufficient! Stop being so bloody greedy! You eat me out of house and home you kids! You’re ungrateful! I'm bloody sick of it.”
  
  I wasn’t aware of this British distinction. But now I know. It's a little indicator of why I think of myself as English before British I suppose. My point, referring back to the undue negativity, is: if a pleb like me who thinks pudding is a pie made with suet and calls it his afters, can handle a film about Oxbridge wankers without taking offense. Why are some posh middle class sumbitches taking offense to this toffee nosed behaviour when they’ve already got a pony? *Wags finger in the air* “No bueno!”

  British
  
  Finally. Shortly after 55% of Scotland surprised me by voting for dependence. Choosing David Cameron as their wet nurse. It felt very apt and nice to watch something quintessentially British. Something that didn’t try and suck America’s cock. Something … jolly good, old chap! And it has a Scotsman in it that sings that god awful national anthem! *Points finger and grins* "Warghhh!"

  Arse biscuits.

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  ★★★★½ review by Vivian on Letterboxd

  paul joseph watson wants to be in this club so mf bad

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